Bible Passage: Proverbs 31:28-30 AMPC ”Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her husband boasts of and praises her, [saying], Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all. Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!“
Proverbs 31 (verses 10-31) is a well-known passage, often misinterpreted in our Christian community. Sadly, many have misused proverbs 31 to oppress and judge women, causing many to shy away from its teachings. However, the true purpose of Proverbs was never to burden women with unrealistic expectations but to guide us towards a righteous path in a fallen world. It serves as a biblical compass, offering wisdom that can spare single and married women from unnecessary pain and heartache. It’s like receiving advice from a wise grandmother with a 60-year successful marriage, helping young single women or married ones struggling through the complexities of marriage. While there are various aspects of Proverbs 31 worth delving into, let’s focus on verses 28-30, which are relevant for married and single women.
In today’s society, the prevalence of sexual immorality and vanity has become overwhelming. Many single women feel pressured to conform to a specific appearance, dressing provocatively and placing themselves in compromising situations to attract “high-value men.” The rise in cosmetic surgical procedures that are detrimental to human health reflects the extreme lengths some go to fit society’s standards. However, I’m not here to condemn those who succumb to societal pressures; instead, I propose an alternative route.
The clichés like “there are no good men anymore” or “good men are impossible to find” may ring true, but it’s equally important to acknowledge that we attract who we are. If we consistently attract men interested only in our bodies, it’s time to reassess how our physical appearance and spiritual state contribute to this pattern. For instance, if you’re still struggling with issues of lust and immorality as a single person, there’s a high likelihood that you’ll attract or be attracted to men facing similar struggles. It’s essential to recognise that a man drawn to you by lust and passion today could be just as quickly lured away by someone else’s allure and passion tomorrow.
So, what’s the alternative route? It’s surprisingly simple—seek God first. Dedicate your life to serving and pleasing Him. Let Him transform you, and trust that He will bring the right person into your life. Let God be your matchmaker, and rest assured that He can bring a one-in-a-million partner who respects, loves, and, most importantly, contributes to building your relationship with God.
This may sound outdated or unrealistic, but it has become my reality. When I tried to find a husband in my strength, I attracted disappointing men who pressured me to compromise my faith. However, when I surrendered my search to God, focusing on building my relationship with Him, He brought my husband into my life. Our meeting was unexpected, and his attraction wasn’t driven by lust but by my genuine connection with God and how I prioritised my relationship with God above anything else. This has been the most liberating and fulfilling relationship I’ve experienced. While charm, grace, and beauty may attract various men, those genuinely drawn to your devotion to God are the rare gems.
If you feel discouraged by the dating world, shift your focus to God. Make Him your priority and leave the task of finding a husband to Him. While we can only judge by outward appearances, God sees the heart of all men. Trust in His plan and timing, and you’ll find the right kind of love.
