Bible passage: 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 “But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife”.
Whether you are single or married, you have probably heard many people tell you that marriage is not easy and comes with its own challenges. Even in 1 Corinthians 7:28 (“But if you do get married, you haven’t sinned. It’s just that I would want to spare you the problems you will face with the extra challenges of being married”), Paul acknowledges that marriage comes with its own set of challenges in addition to the struggles we may face as individuals following Christ. This is because when you join two people with different personalities and upbringings, there is bound to be a clash. Marriage has a way of bringing out our flaws, which we must always take to God in prayer and let Him transform us rather than being defensive.
In a nutshell, living in harmony with your spouse requires us to die to ourselves every day and follow God’s Word concerning our issues, which at times can be really difficult. So, it’s no wonder Paul says it is much better to be single. But when you are in a marriage that you feel may be ending, Paul makes it very clear what your options are. You have the choice to remain in the marriage or get a divorce. However, if you do get a divorce, God has commanded you to stay single unless you reconcile with your husband. When I first read that passage, I felt it was a bit unfair that both parties aren’t allowed to marry other people after a divorce, especially if the circumstances for the divorce were abuse or adultery. However, these are God’s words, and no matter what we feel about them, we must believe that His plans are not to harm us but to prosper us and to give us hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). God’s ways and thoughts are better than ours, so in situations where we struggle to see the good in God’s instructions, we must have faith because of all He has already done for us.
Perhaps you may be thinking about the passage that permits divorce on the grounds of adultery; shouldn’t one be free to remarry in that case? In Matthew 19:3-9, some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘, God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked. Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”
From this passage, it is clear that Moses permitted divorce because of his people’s hard hearts and stubbornness and that remarrying if adultery led to the previous divorce was not a sin. However, we cannot ignore the fact that this was not God’s original intention. God’s original purpose was for man and woman to stay married, and if either chose to leave, regardless of the circumstances, they must not remarry (except in the case of death). If a wife or a husband leaves the marriage and stays single, the Holy Spirit can rectify all the problems that caused the divorce, and there is a great chance that God can reconcile the wife or husband to his or her spouse.
So, if you find yourself in a confusing situation, pray to God to soften your heart and make you willing to do His will concerning your situation despite how you feel. Because I can assure you that if you follow God’s direction, even if the world calls you crazy or your flesh screams in protest against it, you will not regret it, and you will be blessed knowing that you are living a life that pleases God.
