A work in progress…..

Hey Guys,
So…. it’s been a while now I know I know but instead of writing a long explanation for my absence, I’m going to spare you the details (you’re welcome) and jump right into why I’m inspired to write today. So for a while now I’ve completely lacked the desire and motivation to not only spend time with the Lord but also read my bible. Honestly, the thought of picking up my bible gave me the same feeling I have when it’s time to revise or do something I know I should do but can’t be bothered to. It really bothered me that reading my bible had become such a chore but I completely disregarded that feeling and just spent my free time doing whatever I felt like doing i.e binge watch on Netflix shows and spend hours on social media. It all seemed harmless at the time but what I didn’t realise was that the more time I spent apart from God the more silly and unimportant things got to me like worrying about my future career, fantasising about future bae and stuff like that. But the one thing that really hooked me was this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. What I hadn’t realised was that replacing my time with God by doing random unproductive things just worsened my desire for God. What I hadn’t realised was that my excessive use of social media opened me up to a wave of insecurities I was once unbothered about. What I hadn’t realised was that my time away from God left me vulnerable and truly alone (or at least a feeling of loneliness because God is always with us 🙂 ) and it only made it more difficult to turn back to Him. It wasn’t until my mum came to visit that I truly saw the change in me. As I routinely poured out all my frustrations, doubts and fears to her I realised (with her help) that my faith in God wasn’t like it used to be. 

I truly went through an intense phase where I could feel my spirit battling with my flesh kinda like what Paul described in Galatians 5:16-17 (“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other so that you are not to do whatever you want.”) and it was exhausting not to mention my flesh was clearly winning this war. In the midst of my complaint my mum said something I’ll never forget which was ‘Tobi you have unintentionally left a crack or an opening in your life for the devil to come in and have a field day’. Basically what she meant was that in the process of doing my own thing and spending little to no time with God I unintentionally left myself more exposed to the devil’s attacks with little to no fight in me to overcome. (1Peter 5:8 “Be sober, Be vigilant because your adversary the devil walks around like a roaring lion seeking who he may devour”. John10:10 ‘The thief does not come except to kill steal and destroy. I have come that they may have peace and that they may have it more abundantly.”)

So I finally made the decision to intentionally spend time with God by, reading His word and all that good stuff and I must say it felt great, it was like rekindling a relationship with a long lost friend and God gave me a familiar sense of peace that I needed so desperately. So what was the point of all this?  Well, I simply wanted to share that everyone goes through a rocky patch in their walk with God but the only solution is to INTENTIONALLY spend more time with Him because like all feelings, it’s just temporary but the love and truth that is God always remains the same and there’s no better comfort than in knowing that in the midst of whatever chaos you think you’re going through, you have a father and a friend who’s love for you will always remain constant.
Have an awesome day!
God loves you!
Love,
Tobi.